The Overhand Right

The experts gave Junior Dos Santos only a puncher's chance. So he took it, with a powerful overhand right, thrown with his whole body behind it, that landed behind Cain Velasquez's ear and knocked him out. And now Dos Santos is the heavyweight champion of the world. (As I predicted.)

It's interesting that it was the overhand right that won the fight. According to Loren Christensen and Mark Mireles, martial artists, police officers, and authors of Total Defense, by far the most common attack in real life is the overhand right. When two guys on the street fight, the first punch thrown is overwhelmingly likely to be an overhand right.

And here you've got mixed martial arts, the culmination of thousands of years of combat sports, where we've finally learned what works in real fightimg, the distilled, effective core of wrestling, boxing, muay thai, karate, kickboxing, judo, and jiu-jitsu, and what worked on Saturday night, between the two biggest, baddest, best-trained men on the planet was the same thing that works for random guys on the street. The overhand right.

The Fall of Joe Paterno

They fired JoePa last night.

Joe Paterno. Dismissed. Terminated. Fired. Joe Paterno!

And the college kids at Penn State are rioting over the perceived injustice of getting rid of an old man they loved and were proud of.

And the national media is crowing about how, finally, the Trustees did the right thing in choosing Penn State the university over Penn State the football team, and doesn't this prove that Paterno was nothing special to begin with, a fraud, and isn't this what big-time college football is all about, power and money and its misuse, and didn't we tell you all along?

But they're all wrong.

The truth is that Joe Paterno is a good man who failed to do the right thing here, with horrible consequences, and so he had to be punished, and he was, but the story's not over yet.

Let's review the facts. In March 2002, then-graduate-assistant Mike McQueary, age 28 and only a few years removed from his own days as a student-athlete at Penn State, goes back to the football complex at 9:30 pm to get some recruiting tape to work on at home. He hears sex noises coming from the showers, goes over to investigate and finds Jerry Sandusky, legendary former Penn State defensive coordinator and one-time head coach in waiting, now retired, anally raping a ten year old boy. Repeat, just to let the full horror of that sink in – anally raping a ten year old boy in the showers: i.e. fucking a little kid up the ass. Jesus Christ. McQueary, appropriately horrified, but not knowing what to do, runs out, goes home and calls his dad. [Pause: he should have stopped the rape right then, of course. But that was a horrible situation he walked into, totally unprepared I'm sure, so I need to think about his actions a little more before I express more of an opinion. And this post is about Paterno. I'm going to write more about McQueary in my next post.] His dad, apparently, tells McQueary to tell Paterno. McQueary does just that. Paterno then tells his boss, former Athletic Director Tim Curley . Curley then takes immediate action: he bars Sandusky from bringing any more children onto the Penn State campus.

The implication: Goddamit, Jerry, if you're going to rape children, that's fine, but do it on your own time and on your own property, we don't want to have to see it, we don't want to be involved, and we certainly don't want Penn State's good name to be besmirched!

And that's just what Sandusky does. He keeps raping kids, just off-campus. Additional victims have come forward; some were raped by Sandusky after the Penn State locker room shower attack. (And these are just the ones we know about. Criminals, especially powerful ones, get away with a lot of crimes that are undetected. They get caught for the tip of the iceberg, but there's much more that never comes to light.) These were all vulnerable little kids that Sandusky got access to via The Second Mile, the non-profit he set up ostensibly to help at-risk youth from financially poor, absent-father homes. Under the guise of helping these children, Sandusky would take them under his wing, inviting one at a time to tailgates, family dinners, sleepovers, bowl games … and at some point in their escalating entanglement with the man, he would start raping them. It's disgusting and horrible, not least for the sick logic of it all, and my heart goes out to the children first but also to their parents, who must feel horribly guilty for failing to protect their loved ones.

Obviously, when this all came out, Sandusky was arrested and charged with many, many crimes, among them involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and indecent assault, and Curley was fired by Penn State and arrested and charged with perjury and failure to report suspected child abuse by the state of Pennsylvania. Both as they should have been. (And as they would have been, I believe, no matter the sex of the victims. Erin Gloria Ryan over at Jezebel, one of my favorite writers, wrote about how maybe there wouldn't have been any justice if the victims had been girls. I disagree. Protecting children trumps gender discrimination. If this had all come out the way it did, but the victims were little girls, heads would have rolled just as they did here.)

But what about Paterno? He arguably didn't do anything illegal, because he reported the incident to his boss. But he should have done more.

Put yourself in his shoes. You're 76 years old. You've been the head coach of an enormously successfully college football team for 36 years. You've won 2 national championships. Earned many millions of dollars. You get paid $1 million per year. And a kid who you used to coach, who just started working for you, comes to you and tells you he saw a guy raping a 10 year old up the ass in what is, essentially, your office. What do you do?

Absolutely you tell your own boss, as Paterno did. But then, when nothing much happens and you still see the accused around your office, don't you do more? When your office is part of a school? When your job is to teach children, older children than the kid who got raped, but children still? When you're a parent yourself, and a grandparent? Don't you call the police? You have to.

Let's give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe McQueary didn't tell you in explicit detail what he saw, because, really, nobody wants to talk about anal rape with his grandfather. And maybe McQueary's lying, for all you know. Maybe Jerry didn't do anything. Maybe McQueary hates him and is trying to set him up. You don't know.

But that's the point. You don't know. So you call in the police to investigate, so that the truth can come out. In doing so, you protect whoever the real victim is. If the allegations are false, you protect Sandusky from false accusations. But if the allegations are true, you get justice for that kid and you protect future kids from having the same horrible thing happen to them.

Or maybe not. Maybe you say hey, I told my boss and if he doesn't do anything, I better not do anything, because I don't want to cross him, I might get in trouble.

But no, I don't think so. You're Joe freaking Paterno. You're not going to get in trouble for telling police that one of your subordinates alleged to you that an old man was anally raping a little kid in your office. Even if what you were told turns out to be false, you're never going to get in trouble for telling the truth as you understood it. You're Joe Paterno and this is Penn State!

But Paterno didn't do that. I wonder why? I don't know. Maybe Joe Posnanski, honestly the best sportswriter in America, who has been in State College for the last few months writing a book about Paterno, can figure it out and tell us someday. I don't know. But I do know that because Paterno didn't call the cops, more kids got raped who would probably have been safe otherwise. And that's a big deal, a huge deal, a colossal failure on Paterno's part, and for that failure Joe had to go.

And I love Paterno. Love him in a hero-worshipping, grandfather-figure kind of way. Because I was a kid in the 80s, during Paterno's golden years, a kid growing up without a dad himself, Italian-American like Paterno, wearing glasses like him, from the Mid-Atlantic like him, a football-loving, football-playing kid, who ended up becoming an Ivy League grad like Paterno, because I was proud of him for being a member of my tribe who made good – for all those reasons I am conflicted about punishing him and understand why those kids at Penn State rallied in his support. He's their grandfather too, and you support your grandfather. But sometimes your grandfather makes a mistake, and when he does, he has to pay the price like anyone else. No double standards.

But that's not the end of the story. How will Paterno live out the rest of his life? Will he accept his share of responsibility? Will he do some good yet, before the end? Maybe for those kids who he failed to protect? He's got lots of money and prestige and power left, even now. People still love and respect Joe Paterno. And he's used his power for good in the past – donating over $3.5 million to the university, for example. I hope he finds those kids he failed or other in similar situations, and does right by them.

Because their stories aren't ended yet either, and I'm sure they could use the help.

UFC 137

Aoki v. Rupp

Rupp got robbed. He was just as good at takedowns as Aoki, and he was much much better on his feet. He hurt Aoki with some strikes: a right hand to the head, a roundhouse to the head. Aoki had some nice trips to bring Rupp down, but Aoki never hurt Rupp. It was a close fight, but Rupp was clearly better. He got jobbed. Maybe it was chance. Or maybe the UFC needs a successful Asian fighter to market in Asia.

Curran v. Jorgenson

This was an even closer fight, but the judges got this one right. I don't think either guy hurt the other or got close to a submission, but Jorgenson controlled the fight with takedowns. Some very technical grappling in this one. Close decision to Jorgenson for being more aggresive.

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovitch v. Roy "Big Country" Nelson

Well, that was sad. Mirko was just too old. He was in great shape, but he's lost his speed. Nelson was in the best shape of his life, which wasn't as fit as Filipovitch, but wasn't bad. And he's just big and strong and tough and skilled. He

Kongo v. Mitrione

Another close fight. Even on the feet. Kongo wins by getting a takedown in round 3.

Diaz v. Penn.

Diaz was too fit. He wore Penn down.

Frankie Edgar Shows the Eye of the Tiger

Joe Lauzon v. Melvin Guillard

Guillard looked like he would kill Lauzon. He was bigger, more muscular, and seemed much more confident, happily high-fiving seemingly every fan in the arena as he walked to the ring. Plus, Josh Gross and the other ESPN MMA analysts had all picked Guillard to win easily. They said he was one of the best lightweights in the world. I was pulling for Lauzon, the kid from Bridgewater, Mass., but I didn't really think he had a chance. And in the early going, Guillard looked dominant. But then he slipped, and Lauzon was all over him, and then Lauzon had a chance to get a guillotine choke, which flowed into a rear naked choke, and it didn't look tight and you figured Guillard would get out of it but at least Lauzon had a chance now and I was hollering at the screen for Lauzon to sink it in tight and still it looked like Guillard would escape but then he wasn't and then . . . he tapped! Lauzon wins by submission! What an upset! Guillard seems stunned by the loss, nearly in tears, but it's too late now dude, you tapped.

Nam Phan vs. Leonard Garcia

This was the weirdest fight ever. Phan was quicker and more skilled and more fit, but wasn't aggressive enough to take full advantage of those advantages. Garcia was more powerful, but he was so sloppy, throwing these big looping punches, leading with his head, stopping to catch his breath. Phan should have knocked Garcia out a hundred times, but I guess he was cautious of Garcia's power. So Phan fought conservatively, was never really in danger, and took a decision. Disappointing fight. Phan should have taken Garcia out.

Brian Stann v. Chael Sonnen

I wouldn't want to fight Brian Stann. That is one big, tough looking motherfucker. And he's a former Marine captain.

Chael Sonnen is a guy I've heard so much about. He's the guy who everyone says had the unbeatable Anderson Silva beaten . . . until he got caught in a submission literally in the last seconds of the fight. He's supposed to be special, and I want to see if this is true or not.

It is. After a very even fight for two ? rounds, Sonnen locked up Stann in a submission attempt I've never seen before -- it locked like some kind of elbow crank -- and eventually the big Marine cracked and tapped out. That was very creative. I was impressed.

Kenny Florian v. Jose Aldo

This is supposed to be the co-main event. I'm pulling for Florian, an older Boston guy, to upset Aldo, the featherweight champ. But after two rounds, neither man is showing me much. I'd call it a boring tie at this point.

3rd round goes to Aldo, though. He definitely did more damage. Florian tried for some takedowns and submissions, but didn't really get anywhere. Also did some damage with his striking.

4th round is more of the same. Aldo staying slightly ahead of Florian. Not much going on, really. The best part of the round was the shots of random, bored women in the crowd. One girl did her nails. Another checked for texts on her iPhone.

5th and final round. Aldo is slightly more powerful, slightly more aggressive, slightly more accurate on strikes. Neither man gets a big takedown. But when the scramble ends up on the ground, Also is slightly more dominant. Florian tries hard to generate some offense at the end, but no dice. In the end, I think we'll remember Kenny Florian as a skilled defensive fighter. Which is great for self-defense, but not quite enough to win a UFC title. Aldo, to no one's surprise, takes the decision.

Frankie Edgar v. Gray Maynard

This is the real main event, the lightweight title fight, between South Jersey's own Frankie Edgar, the champ, and Gray Maynard, who beat Edgar once (in a non-title fight) and fought him to a draw the second time (this was a title fight, and since Edgar was the champ at the time, Edgar retained the title).

Round 1. Maynard. Edgar is covered in his own blood.

Round 2. Maynard. He keeps throwing uppercuts to the chin for which Edgar has no defense.

Round 3. Edgar is the faster man, but his speed does him no good if he doesn't use it aggresively. He should be letting his hands go and throwing combinations, but he isn't. Now he does score a few shots. I'll give him this round. Maynard knows he is ahead and is fighting defensively.

Round 4. Edgar stays on the offensive. Maynard better be careful he doesn't lose this fight by being too conservative now. And then ... there's an attempt at a takedown, a scramble, both men grappling for a hold, and Edgar throws a punch that catches Maynard on the chin and snaps his head back and Edgar smells blood and throws another, an uppercut that catches Maynard flush and now Maynard is hurt and he's back against the rope and Edgar catches him flush on the jaw again and Maynard goes down and Edgar follows, still throwing punches to the the head, all of which land and the ref stops the fight. Holy crap! Edgar wins! He was losing, badly, from the get-go, but he came back, again, and won by TKO. Fantastic! Jersey retains its homegrown MMA champion!

Bones v. the Dragon

Dana White just tweeted that the next UFC light heavyweight championship will be Jon "Bones" Jones vs. Lyoto "the Dragon" Machida. As a former karate guy, I'll be pulling for Machida, the best karateka to fight in the UFC in years, if not ever. But if I had to bet my life savings, I'd bet on Jones. That kid is a special fighter.

UFC Live on VERSUS: Cruz Wins Tough Fight

You gotta give it to Mighty Mouse. Demetrious "Mighty Mouse" Johnson, the part-time construction worker, gave UFC bantamweight champion Dominick Cruz the toughest fight of Cruz's career on Saturday night. Johnson was a much more difficult challenge for Cruz than the much-more-hyped Uriah Faber ever was. Johnson was at least as quick as Cruz, and was an excellent boxer. His cardio was also as good as Cruz's, and between the hand speed and the pace of the fight, Cruz got away from the oblique angles and capoeira footwork that make him special. It didn't matter in the end, though, because Cruz adjusted, went to his wrestling, and body-slammed his way to victory with two impressive suplexes.

The Greatest MMA Fighter (Right Now)

Who is the greatest Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter right now? This is a tough question, but I'm going to try to answer it because it's a heck of a lot easier than "Who is the greatest MMA fighter OF ALL TIME?", which I hope to get to later.

First of all, there will be none of this pound for pound stuff. The best MMA fighter alive should be able to step into a cage or octagon and beat anyone else on the planet. Anyone. Bigger, smaller, lighter, heavier, whatever.

The only question is, when 2 men enter and 1 man leaves, who is that man?

I see several worthy candidates: Georges St. Pierre, Anderson Silva, Jon Jones, Cain Velasquez, and Junior Dos Santos.

St. Pierre and Silva are generally acknowledged as the two most skilled fighters out there. Both are extremely experienced, extremely athletic, and in their physical prime. Neither has been beaten in a long time. But both are relatively light guys, compared to the others in the top 5. St. Pierre is 5'10", fights at 170 lbs., and reportedly walks around at 190. Silva is 6'2", fights at 185, and reportedly walks around at 230. Jones is 6'4" and fights at 205. His walking-around weight is 217. Velasquez is not that tall, at 6'1", but he fights and walks around in the mid-240s. Jones and Silva are extremely lean, naturally skinny guys, whereas Velasquez is muscular. And Dos Santos is lean and muscular, at 6'4", 239 lbs.

So let's boil that down. Having seen all of these guys fight, I think St. Pierre is the most skilled martial artist, but they are all highly skilled. And, come fight night, St. Pierre gives up 15 pounds to Silva, 35 pounds to Jones, 69 pounds to Dos Santos, and 75 pounds to Velasquez. And that weight difference is all muscle. None of these guys is fat or out-of-shape; all have excellent cardio. I've seen smaller guys beat bigger guys because of radical differences in skill and/or conditioning. None of that applies here.

Translated: St. Pierre loses. He's just too small.

What about the other 4? All slightly over 6 feet in height. Two skinny guys, Jones and Silva, and 2 muscular guys, Velasquez and Dos Santos.

Who wins if Jones fights Silva? I think Jones wins. He's got an extra 20 pounds of muscle and I think he's smarter and better trained, with more heart.

I doubt Silva could beat Velasquez or Dos Santos either. Velasquez is too good of a grappler and Dos Santos is Silva's equal as a striker, because although he may not be quite as skilled, he's got more power.

The question then becomes, could Jones beat Velasquez or Dos Santos. Maybe. I saw Jones submit Quinton "Rampage" Jackson on Saturday night, and Jackson was big, strong and angry. But Jackson was also a one-trick pony (boxing) and Velasquez and Dos Santos bring more to the table than one skill set.

I think either would beat Jones. They have too much power.

Thus, it comes down to Velasquez versus Dos Santos. And what do you know, we're going to actually see that fight, on November 12 on FOX.

So, the best MMA fighter alive will be whoever wins the first live network MMA fight. It all makes sense. The best heavyweight is the best fighter. Same as it ever was. "A good big man beats a good little man" as they used to say back in the days when boxing was the premier combat sport. And I think the best good big man is ... Junior Dos Santos!

I saw Dos Santos destroy a big, game, powerful Shane Carwin. And I saw Velasquez beat a Brock Lesnar who, while huge, quick and powerful, fought like a confused, slightly frightened polar bear.

I'm more impressed with Dos Santos. I think he's the new heavyweight champ . . . and Earth's greatest (current) MMA fighter.

Diaz v. Penn

Nick Diaz is getting another chance in the UFC -- he's been matched against the legendary B.J. Penn -- and that's a good thing. We all deserve a second chance. Here's hoping that this time he overcomes his fear of the media and does the pre-fight press conferences. It might help him to keep in mind that although the press might ask some embarrassing questions, they are significantly less likely than Penn to put him in a painful submission hold. And although embarrassment feels bad, the feeling goes away much more quickly than, for example, a dislocated elbow. If Diaz is brave enough to step into the octagon, he's brave enough to step into the media room.

Who is the greatest ____?

Found a cool new sports website the other day: http://www.who-is-thegreatest.com/. It's full of articles about the greatest athletes and greatest sporting events. It gives you a chance to vote your favorites into the hall of fame. I think it's a pretty cool idea and I'm going to write an article or two for them about MMA. Check out the site -- it's worth your time.

Nick Diaz: Sick, Not Bad

As I'm sure you've all heard, Nick Diaz got dropped from UFC 137, thereby losing his chance to fight Georges St. Pierre for the welterweight title, because he failed to show up for two pre-fight news conferences to promote the fight. People are making Diaz out to be a spoiled, selfish athlete, implying he just couldn't be bothered to attend either press conference. Dana White said that Diaz lied to his face about the two missed press conferences. But the man who knows Diaz best is his trainer Cesar Gracie. And Gracie, while embarassed by Diaz's no-shows, also says Diaz has a social anxiety disorder that he self-medicates with marijuana. If so, then shaming the guy isn't going to change his behavior.

Social anxiety disorder is: "Extreme, persistent and disabling social anxiety . . . having physiological components (e.g., sweating, blushing), cognitive/perceptual components (e.g., belief that one may be judged negatively or looking for signs of disapproval), and behavioral components (e.g. avoiding a situation). The essence of social anxiety has been said to be an irrational or unreasonable expectation of negative evaluation by others.^[1] One theory is that social anxiety occurs when there is motivation to make a desired impression along with doubt about having the ability to do so.^[12]"

So, here you have a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who knows he is uneducated and has language difficulties. He wants to make a good impression at these press conferences, but he doubts his ability to do so in front of all these educated, verbally adroit journalists. He gets scared, smokes dope to deal with the fear, and is too high to think straight and make sure he gets on that plane. Then he's ashamed of himself and hides from his teacher, his friends, and his boss.

It all makes sense. And no, the logical explanation doesn't change the fact that the UFC needs its fighers to promote the fights so that people watch said fights. And thus it makes sense to drop a fighter who isn't able to do those promotions.

But social anxiety disorder is curable through cognitive-behavioral therapy. And marijuana addiction is curable as well, through good therapy and regular participation in a twelve-step group like Narcotics Anonymous.

Nick Diaz just lost an opportunity to win the title of world's best welterweight mixed martial artist, which means he lost the potential paydays that would have come with winning that UFC title. But he shouldn't waste this crisis.

He needs to learn the lesson life is giving him. Get help. Get a good therapist. Go to NA meetings. Cure his social anxiety disorder and his marijuana addiction.

He is a very talented martial artist. He will get other opportunities to fight. And if he proves, by showing up at all the promotional events, that he has gotten his mind under control, then I predict he will get another opportunity to fight for the title.

After all, America loves a comeback story.
nity to become

UFC 134: Silva, Shogun, Minotauro, Pearson And The Other Silva Impress

When I remember UFC 134, I'll remember this: Anderson Silva stands still, both hands at his waist, daring Yushin Okami to strike him in the face, and Okami lacks the courage to do it.

Sure, it was a trap. Silva probably had a response all planned if Okami took the shot. But it was also an opportunity, one Okami was too cautious to take. Which is how Okami fought the whole time -- too cautiously -- and it cost him the fight. Silva was quicker, with a longer reach. Because Okami fought so defensively, Silva was able to stay on the outside and throw strikes without fear of being hit. And eventually, those strikes landed and Okami got knocked out.

That never would have happened if Silva had been fighting either Ross Pearson or Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira. Both of those men put on a clinic in how to fight quicker, longer opponents. You have to be aggressive, constantly moving inside and attacking. When you're close enough to hit him or grapple him, then you've negated his reach advantage. And by taking the offensive, you force him to respond to you, negating the speed advantage. But pursuing that strategy takes heart, because coming inside gives your opponent more opportunities to hit or grapple you too. Both Pearson and Nogueria showed that heart.

Yes, Pearson lost. But he went the distance against the heavily favored Edson Barboza and he just barely lost, via split decision. Two judges picked Barboza as the winner, but one judge picked Pearson, and I know from listening to the mmajunkie.com podcast that a lot of people think Pearson should have been given the decision, not Barboza.

And Nogueria did win. He knocked out rising heavyweight contender Brendan Schaub. That was such an interesting fight. Schaub fought like a modern mixed martial artist: lots of movement, lots of different techniques. Nogueria just walked forward and punched Schaub in the head. And Nogueria's strategy worked. KISS, as my grandfather, Pop Pop Joe, used to say: keep it simple, stupid. And he was right: what Nogueria did wasn't fancy, but it was smart. It negated Schaub's youth, speed, and size and gave Nogueria an opportunity to win. He kept coming inside, and yes, he took his licks to do so, but as a result he was able to land a knockout blow and win.

A quick word about the Mauricio Rua -- Forrest Griffin fight. As soon as I saw Griffin walk out, I knew he would lose. He was so stiff. His back never moved. I think he was having back problems. I say that as someone who has had back problems myself. You can't perform at your best with a bad back. And he didn't. And he lost.

The other memorable moment of the night was the way in which Erick Silva knocked out Luis Ramos. It had been a good fight, a classic welterweight matchup between two quick little guys without a lot of power, full of sound and fury signifying nothing, as Faulkner would have said. And then . . . suddenly, Silva morphed into the second coming of Bruce Lee, throwing a straight lead, the foundational jete kune do technique: a long, lunging punch with some power. It stunned Ramos for a split second and then immediately on its heels came the overhand right, with a lot of power, and Ramos was knocked out. It was a beautiful combination by Silva.

The Little Dragon would have been proud.

Konrad v. Buentello: THE WORST FIGHT I'VE EVER SEEN

Have you ever watched two half-naked fat guys posture for 15 minutes, circling, sweating, jiggling, always jiggling, but never actually fighting? If you had the misfortune, as I did, of watching the Bellator heavyweight "super" fight between Cole Konrad and Paul Buentello last night, then yes, yes you have, and you'll never get those minutes back.

I like Bellator. I like that they are challenging the market dominance of the UFC. I like that they have an intelligent strategy -- tournaments -- and a television partner -- MTV2 -- that enables them to air their fights on free TV. And their lighter weight divisions are great, filled with talented mixed martial artists who actually, you know, fight.

But, good God, that heavyweight fight last night was the worst fight I've ever seen, bar none. The "combatants" were so out of shape, so unskilled, so afraid ...

Words fail me. Except one.

Jiggle.

UFC in Pittsburgh: Judge's Horror Story

Poor Rick Story. He travels across the country from Vancouver, Washington to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to fight Nate Marquardt. But Marquardt flunks his physical for undisclosed reasons and gets banned from the UFC (Banned! For flunking a physical! That doesn't happen lightly. No way to know for sure, but I'm guessing recreational, illegal drugs were found in his system. Dana White seems like the kind of guy who wouldn't tolerate a heroin addiction.) and Story ends up having to fight a local boy, Pennsylvania's own Charlie Brenneman.

Obviously, that's a home court advantage for Brenneman, and it showed up in the judging. Yes, Brenneman was the more athletic fighter. (And he definitely had the more impressive beard and hair -- guy had like a lion's mane thing going on.) He was quicker and he took Story to the mat time and again with double-legged take downs. But once they were on the ground, Story always dominated with his jiu-jitsu. Brenneman did no damage, throwing weak punches while barely evading -- and I mean just barely -- submission attempts by Story. Numerous times, Story nearly finished the fight on guillotine chokes and triangles. All Brenneman did was survive. Yet, somehow, Brenneman won a decision.

The fix was in.

UFC 131

9:05 Ok, noted douchebag Joe Rogan was shown wearing a do-rag in the promo. Just when you think he can't get any douchier . . .

9:06 Drinking a Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale. Flying Fish is Jersey's finest brewery. Competition is not keen.

9:11 Vagner Rocha enters the ring for his UFC debut. I've never seen a fighter so excited. He's like a kid in a _____ ______.

He's fighting Donald Cerrone, who looks ripped. And calm. Can you be a bigtime martial artist if your name is Donald? We're about to find out. I'm pulling for Donald.

9:17 This first fight seems evenly matched.

9:19 Nice leg catch by Cerrone on a kick by Rocha. Dumped Rocha on his butt.

9:20 Cerrone won the first round.

9:25 Cerrone landing the more powerful kicks. Crazy takedown attempt from the botton by Rocha. He jumped on Cerrone's chest and fell backwards. He got him down but couldn't do anything with it. Again, Cerrone wins the round.

9:32 Cerrone tried hard for the knockout in the final round, but Rocha managed to survive to the end. At which point he immediately sat down, evidence that he's in pain from all those vicious kicks to the leg.

9:34 Cerrone wins by decision. But why does he have to wear that goofy looking cowboy hat?

9:43 Next fight: Indiana's own Dave Herman versus some much-hyped Viking dude.

9:59 Ok, the knees to the head won that fight for our boy Dave. So much for the Viking.

10:04 Mark Munoz, the rare Hispanic born in Japan who went on to win an NCAA Division 1 wrestling title, versus Demian Maia, a Brazilian. This should be a great wrestling versus jiu jitsu bout.

10:08 Oh look, it's ring announcer Bruce Buffer looking debauched in a gold tie.

And much time passes while I Skype with my girlfriend in Atlanta. She's horrified to hear that I'm writing about MMA. She doesn't really get the joy of fighting. What can I say? I'm a man, baby ...

11:02 The main event begins. Shane Carwin gets hammered brutally. Blow after blow to the face. Junior Dos Santos can't believe that the ref isn't stopping the fight. He's looking at the ref even as he continues to punch Carwin. But no, the fight continues. Carwin struggles back to his feet. His nose is broken. He's covered in blood. He's 36 years old, fighting a man ten years younger. He's going to lose.

And he does. But he goes the distance. And we learned something. Carwin has heart. And an iron chin. But Dos Santos is the better athlete and the better fighter, able to beat a champion wrestler with heavy hands. Dos Santos stuffed just about every take down attempt by Carwin.

Dos Santos looked fantastic in this fight. Which means the coming title fight against Cain Velasquez should be fantastic as well.

Big Heavyweight Bout Tonight!

I will be liveblogging UFC 131 tonight.